On Death and Dying
My dad died almost a year 1/2 ago. Prior to his death I had lost many other people who had been close to me including my grandparents, my piano teacher/mentor, my sister, my cousin, two aunts, and assortment of other friends and family members. Most of these deaths happened quickly. We just got that phone call saying that they died, or had that rush to the hospital and they died on the way. My sister had leukemia for 2 years before she died. My dad had multiple myeloma for 2 years before he died. With my sister I don't remember a whole lot. She was 21 years older than me and I was only 9 when she died. My parents kept me very sheltered from everything. I didn't even attend the funeral. That was back in a time when children didn't go everywhere with their parents like they do now.
When my dad died he was at home. He had been on hospice for one week. During that week I was at work except for that Friday, the day before he died. Everytime I thought I was going to stay home I kept hearing his voice saying "Go to work Jennifer." He worked right up until he couldn't and I know he expected that of everyone in the family. The only reason I stayed home that Friday was my mom looked like she was going to collapse and she had been staying up a lot in the night to check on him. The idea was I would spend the night and we'd take shifts. In one shift my mom, my husband and I all checked on my dad within a 30 minute period without the others even realizing it! I'm not sure what was harder...being at home waiting or being at work. I honestly think while I was at work it was easier. I threw myself into teaching and called home on every break. The only time it felt hard was in the morning before class started. I was in there by myself surrounded by reminders of my dad. He collected frogs and liked the cartoon Peanuts. I had put up both in my classroom. I can't turn around without seeing one or the other. I kept them all up this school year. They've become a part of me. Everyone knows my class has frogs all over the place with a touch of Peanuts.
My friend Sharon is going through something similar now. She turned 50 last year. Up until a few years ago she had all of her grandparents, greats even!, and her parents. They've suddenly began dying in the past 5 years. She's lost grandparents, great uncles, and her father. Now she's facing the death of a grandpa and grandma (two different sides of the family). They are both in hospice. They are living in two different states, neither live where she does. I know it must be hard being away. She did go to visit the grandpa over the weekend. I was thinking what would be harder, being there waiting or being at home. I think I'd rather be at home. At home you can keep yourself distracted and not just sit there and wait. I've learned if a loved one is in fairly good health it takes a very long time for the body to break down. That without a fact is the worst...the wait. But I know everything happens in God's time and we can't do a thing about it but pray. I pray for Sharon they pass quickly.
Blessing upon you,
Jenn
When my dad died he was at home. He had been on hospice for one week. During that week I was at work except for that Friday, the day before he died. Everytime I thought I was going to stay home I kept hearing his voice saying "Go to work Jennifer." He worked right up until he couldn't and I know he expected that of everyone in the family. The only reason I stayed home that Friday was my mom looked like she was going to collapse and she had been staying up a lot in the night to check on him. The idea was I would spend the night and we'd take shifts. In one shift my mom, my husband and I all checked on my dad within a 30 minute period without the others even realizing it! I'm not sure what was harder...being at home waiting or being at work. I honestly think while I was at work it was easier. I threw myself into teaching and called home on every break. The only time it felt hard was in the morning before class started. I was in there by myself surrounded by reminders of my dad. He collected frogs and liked the cartoon Peanuts. I had put up both in my classroom. I can't turn around without seeing one or the other. I kept them all up this school year. They've become a part of me. Everyone knows my class has frogs all over the place with a touch of Peanuts.
My friend Sharon is going through something similar now. She turned 50 last year. Up until a few years ago she had all of her grandparents, greats even!, and her parents. They've suddenly began dying in the past 5 years. She's lost grandparents, great uncles, and her father. Now she's facing the death of a grandpa and grandma (two different sides of the family). They are both in hospice. They are living in two different states, neither live where she does. I know it must be hard being away. She did go to visit the grandpa over the weekend. I was thinking what would be harder, being there waiting or being at home. I think I'd rather be at home. At home you can keep yourself distracted and not just sit there and wait. I've learned if a loved one is in fairly good health it takes a very long time for the body to break down. That without a fact is the worst...the wait. But I know everything happens in God's time and we can't do a thing about it but pray. I pray for Sharon they pass quickly.
Blessing upon you,
Jenn
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